When I was younger my mom told me to never loan a friend or family member money unless you were okay with not receiving it back. When someone asks you to borrow money, or give them a “loan” (in particular, because in the case of a necklace I think we can be less critical!) you must consider if in you will truly be content and not harbor ill feelings toward someone that doesn’t pay you back. I HAVE since loaned money to friends or family and have generally been paid back (YAY!), but in the few cases I wasn’t or didn’t get paid back I was able to move on from it because I had “wrapped my brain around it” before I loaned it to them in the first place. I still have a great relationships with the few people who at one point never paid me back. This is one example of the many ways she taught me not to live a life of “tally marks” – life is not a constant exchange to insure that everything is fair. When I read the following article it reminded me of how my mom taught me to give to others – what can we offer the world, the people around us? How can we make an impact?
“…Let me tell you a little story to illustrate my belief in the power — and empowerment — of a more modern sort of offering. My mother once wore a beautiful pearl necklace out to dinner with some friends. During the meal, a woman my mother had just met admired her necklace, and paid her a compliment. Instantly, without a second thought, my mother unhooked the necklace and placed it in the woman’s hands, saying, “Here, it is now yours.” Amazed, the woman reluctantly took the necklace, stammering that she wished she knew how she could repay my mother — asking what she could give her in return. My mother turned to her and said, “it’s not a trade, it’s an offering!” When my mother came back home, my sister and I asked her why she gave the necklace away. “My darlings,” she said, “there is no explanation for such a thing. It is in the spirit of offering in the moment.” This concept has had a profound impact on me ever since I heard it as a little girl. In a world that is so used to trading, to exchange — I’ll give you this and you give me that–we have lost one of the most precious free gifts, and means to empowerment, the gift of making an unprompted offering. This sort of offering is not a planned, wrapped gift, but a spontaneous offering, without a box, without a bow, and without the expectation of something in return…”
This was excerpted from an article by “Agapi Stassinopoulos:The Power of Offering:How Offering Can Instantly Unbind the Heart” and can be found at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/agapi-stassinopoulos/the-power-of-offering-how_b_1096055.html.
Happy Thanksgiving!